Honest Motherhood -- Marissa

A few months ago I came up with the #honestmotherhood tag on Instagram after writing this post on my blog. If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, it's a post that talks about the glamorized view of motherhood on social media and how at the end of a normal day in our house, there are Cheerios in every room, I've been in the same yoga pants since the day before and a pile of laundry can be found in three out of five rooms. Being honest is really important to me. I follow hundred of different families on their journey through life on Instagram and in blogs. Sometimes it's hard to see images of families that never seem to have bad days, who can go out to ice cream without a toddler meltdown, who make Pinterest-worthy crafts out of pine cones and daisies. But we have to remind ourselves that sometimes people only share the good parts of their lives. Their toddlers have meltdowns too, and I'm sure there's been at least one day in their lives that they didn't change out of their PJ pants for a full 24 hours. 

The #honestmotherhood tag has been full of moms sharing their experiences with hard days, happy days, all nighters and the amazing but confusing emotions that come with being a mother. I've read through all of them and every photo makes me feel more real as a mother than the last one. I recently decided that I wanted to take it further and open up my blog as another place to share some stories from some honest mothers. I hope that through these stories we can continue to inspire each other even on the hardest days, and connect through our honesty. 

The first post that I want to share here is from one of my best friends, Marissa, who's known on Instagram as @marissaeff. She also has a blog at http://whatareblogscalled.wordpress.com/. When I think of honest, this mama is the first one that comes to mind. Her blog posts are always raw and full of emotion, and she inspires me on the daily. I hope this series only continues to show us that while we may all have perfect days where we get to eat three full meals and days where we take ice cream trips with no spilling, whining or temper tantrums, it's important to always show the good and the bad. We as mothers can be each other's strongest support and I hope we continue helping each other through every amazing (and sometimes terrifying!) stage of motherhood. 

You can read more about how to submit to the project after you check out Marissa's post on Honest Motherhood below.  

There are many nights that I lay in bed once all my babes are off in dreamland and my mind takes me back to being 19 years old, looking at 5 positive pregnancy tests all lined up on the bathroom counter and wondering what in the world am I going to do. As I lay in bed reminiscing on that time in my life, which seems like yesterday, I realize that most days, even with almost 5 years of motherhood under my belt, I still wonder that very same thing.

 

 I have had quite a few different jobs in my short 25 years and being a mother is by far the most challenging, the most rewarding, the most stressful, the most fulfilling, the dirtiest, the messiest and the most beautiful job that I will ever do. The purest beauty that there is in motherhood is that every day is a chance to start over. Every day our children will love us unconditionally & forgive any shortcomings that we feel we have. Some days I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Some days all I want to do is hide in any spot in my house where I can be alone and find the quiet of my own thoughts again. Some days I would trade it all just to be able to go to the bathroom alone. Every day I make mistakes. Every day I tell myself that I will be more patient, I won't raise my voice as much, I will play more, I will try hard and I will love harder. If by the end of the day I have lived up to half of my intentions then I feel I have done a good job. I never would have thought that 3 little people that are just learning about the world, could in turn teach me so much about myself. 

I am finding things about myself, good and bad, that I don't think I ever would have learned if my life didn't get blessed with these tiny humans. I am learning that I am a perfectionist, I get anxiety when it comes to clutter and mess, and I am not nearly as patient as I would like to me. But everyday I am better, and everyday I am just what my kids need. I lead with my heart. No matter what has transpired in any given day, I will always make sure that my kids know that they are loved and they are important. I will stand at the door of my son's room for 5 minutes after saying goodnight as he decides he has a million and one more stories to tell me. I will spend nights running back and forth between bedrooms and up and down stairs. I will spend days wiping runny noses, kissing owies, splitting up arguments, changing diapers, making tiny plates of tiny food, wiping bums and saying "I love you" more times than I could ever count. I will never do all of these things perfectly. I will hardly ever go to bed at night without a headache but at the end of every day it will have been worth it because I am the most important person to 3 people. 

I am needed, I am wanted, I am far from perfect but I am always there and I am always enough. Everyday is different on this wild ride and it is a ride where, as mothers, we will forever question ourselves and our choices. But as long as those choices are made with love, we will always be right. If someone told my 19 year old self looking at all of those pregnancy tests that this is where her life would be 5 years later I would have laughed in their face. Motherhood is not where I thought my fate was but these children have saved me. They have pushed me beyond my limits physically and emotionally, but they have made me a better person and they have made me a more complete and joyful version of myself and that is something I would not trade for anything in the entire world.

If you're interested in contributing to the Honest Motherhood series, please use the hashtag #honestmotherhood on Instagram, or email me at alixandra.chandler@gmail.com to be featured on a blog post.